Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Holding My Breath

Today, life has found me perched at the edge of a continent. I've crossed in increments that seem to get smaller each time I use them. These vast oceanic waters touch not only my continent, but every other one in this world. Some people sail it all- circle the globe- while others, like me, only know a portion. Within these waters live unfathomable creatures, big & small. Some we consume, others we throw away & still others we never "see", yet we know they're out there... somewhere.

Its quiet here. The tide is out & misty clouds conceal the sun. My coffee is wearing off & I'm starting to feel the effects of my early morning drive. No soul on earth knows I'm here. And where is "here"? In one sense, I know I'm lost. On the other hand, I know exactly where I am. I can name the road that brought me here, the town I'm in & how to get to 3 different coffee shops, thrift stores & gas stations. This place is familiar to me. And yet, I am nameless, though I have a name; a stranger, though I've been here often.  At times, I wish to dwell in the aimless anonymity I've carried with me here. Today however, I wish to be known, thought of, remembered.

There are whales out in the bay. I can see them from here. Two boats honed in on their presence & motored out to surround them. I am surrounded by dogs & gulls, seniors, parents & children... tramping past me to get a better view. But the whales will disappear, hold their breath & dive deep to escape detection. I've seen it before. Its just their way. Meanwhile, the blue sky is emerging, pushing the morning clouds back. I'm trying to connect with this moment- the sun, the ocean breeze, the waves crashing below... isn't it joy that's supposed to meet me in the morning? I take a deep breath, slip the key into the ignition & pull out onto the road... on my way to God knows where.

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