Friday, May 17, 2013

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Well, life is about to change for me soon. After nearly 6 & a half years with the same employer, I'm finally moving on. After close to a decade of working the swing shift, I'll get to see the day's parting sunshine & can crawl into bed before midnight every night. After 6 months of living in a new town & commuting back to the old one 5 days a week, I actually get to stay put. My drive time will be 15 minutes as opposed to an hour & a half, which will afford me more time to do the stuff I actually enjoy.  I'll have more resources, both financially & physically & more access to a greater variety of people & activities because I won't have to try & cram everything into the weekend. All these things are "good". 

But giving my 2 week notice isn't as easy as I thought it would be. I've spent the majority of my waking hours with these people. They've become my weird little family over the years. When I clock in, I don't have to think about what I'm doing or what happens when. I know my job like the back of my hand & move about on auto pilot most days. Unlike a few of my co-workers, my supervisors know they can leave me be & I'll have my duties done, plus some. I barely blink & the day is gone. I rumble down I-5 home in the dark, tired & aching like any other day, knowing I earned my paycheck & can look forward to sleeping in the next morning. Realistically, I could be a "lifer" at this job. My employment & benefits are stable & my seniority would just keep growing. While all these things are "good" too, there's something to be said for change.

My new job affords elements of the old one & those past, but it will also be a challenge for me on many fronts. I'll be meeting new people & existing in a new space. I'll be handling different product in different  situations. I'll have to learn this company's "map" by scratch- what happens when, what goes where & why. It'll take time to figure out who does what & who can I count on & who just doesn't give a damn.  There are so many elements of uncertainty. I'll  have to wait for some benefits to kick in, but at least I'm not starting out on the bottom rung... I'll soon be making more than I do at my current job & am poised to move up when the need presents itself. All these changes are good. They're also kind of scary. Its going to take a lot of extra energy be "present" at work. But until now, I never realized just how absent I've been at my current job, how bored, how comfortable, how mindless my days have become because everything typically stays the same...

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