Tuesday, June 19, 2012

2280-2281 or, Why I Love The Catechism

Everyone is responsible for his life before God who has given it to him. 
It is God who remains the sovereign Master of life. 
We are obliged to accept life gratefully 
and preserve it for his honor and the salvation of our souls. 
We are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us. 
It is not ours to dispose of.
Suicide contradicts the natural inclination of the human being
to preserve and perpetuate his life. 
It is gravely contrary to the just love of self. 
It likewise offends love of neighbor because 
it unjustly breaks the ties of solidarity with family, nation, 
and other human societies to which we continue to have obligations.
Suicide is contrary to love for the living God. 

Catechism of the Catholic Church 2280-2281

Tell a suicidal person they have obligations to God & society & see how well that goes over. No pressure there. Tell that same person everything they feel is contrary to what God actually desires for them... Ah, insert faith over feelings spiel here. Who says the "natural inclinations" of a human being are always preservation & perpetuation? What about fear or despair, aren't they just as natural? Indeed, but they're the easy ways out. They allow me run for cover, close my door & exist in darkness. They're nothing more than passive preservation that leaves little room for God.

Should He actually come knocking on my door, I wouldn't open it. I can't because I'm standing in the way. Its not that He's been 86'd. No, He watches over me, especially when my judgement is impaired. Whether I turn to the right or to the left (or hide behind a door), His is the Voice saying "This is the way, walk in it!". He could force His way in, but He's not like that. Since He knows it'd be dangerous to leave me to my own devices & that I tend to rage even more if provoked, He chooses a better way. He'll smoke me out. There's no shouting, not battering rams... Just silence.

Eventually, my body would slip from bracing the door as I gagged & gasped for breath. This is a glimpse at what depression feels like. Once my senses were overtaken, God would not wildly throw open the door in some heroic display of victory. Fresh air & light would come in increments instead. He would carefully push me aside, just far enough to get in the door & stoop down next to my frame. 

"It is God who remains the sovereign Master of life."

CCC 2280-2281 were fresh air & light to me this evening. "...Your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great."* In my case, He stooped down to make me "ok"...  Here's to tomorrow...

* Psalm 18:35 NIV 1984

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