Monday, March 5, 2012

Stepping Out to Step In

Yesterday was the second time I knelt before entering the pew. I don't know why its such a big deal for me, but it is. This time, I wasn't hiding in the back- instead, I was in the 2nd row center with people all around. It seemed easier to follow my fellow RCIAers as we filed in to sit. My sponsor happened to be standing right in front of me when my turn came to enter the pew. I knelt, crossed myself & then looked up to see her smiling face. I felt a quiet sense of validation. I had stepped out of my comfort zone in order to step in to the pew, but I knew I was also taking one step closer toward the Eucharist.

Those of us in RCIA sat together for Mass because we were going to be brought up in front of the community, prayed for & dismissed before the Creed & consecration. Its the Lenten custom for those of us preparing to come into the Church. Father prayed & motioned toward the doors. All eyes were on us as we filed out of the sanctuary. It seems to get smaller every time... as if the church is no longer this wide open space full of strange people. I know these faces now, I've felt the walls "closing in" as if in some kind of embrace. I thought we should have gone out dancing or with some kind of dramatic fanfare, but I refrained... We headed over to the fellowship hall to discuss the homily over doughnuts, coffee & good conversation.

Why bother writing about this stuff? Simply because its all part of my journey...

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