Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Back to Adoration

I went back to adoration today... I haven't been since November. I arrived at the top of the hour & met an older lady who I hadn't seen in a while. We chatted briefly & I entered into an empty chapel after crossing myself with water. Three others arrived within moments. After I settled into the silence, I decided to read through the Stations of the Cross. I didn't feel anything peculiar except my racing heart. There was a glare on the glass of the monstrance from where I was sitting & I had to strain to see the Sacrament. It was an interesting viewpoint, reflecting how I feel about Jesus lately as I strain to see Him through the glare of outside distractions. When I got up to leave, I crossed myself with the water & descended the stairs. Upon entering my car, I realized I had been there for an entire hour. It only felt like 15, 20 minutes.

I wish I could explain what adoration does for me, but I can't. If nothing else, it's most basic function provides a time to regroup, to be quiet, to "stop" & be. Ultimately, its a time of spiritual communion with the Lord. I still find it hard to wrap my head around the real presence of Jesus in that place, but I think my heart knows He's there. I still only see the little wafer with an embossed cross on it perched behind the clear glass of the monstrance. But then I look just outside the chapel & catch the sanctuary light flickering in the crimson glass. That light tells me the Real Presence is there, despite what I can or can't see or hear or feel. I see the light through the Crimson- that representation of Jesus' Blood- and somehow it changes everything.

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