Someone mentioned the other day that they don't get my fascination with religion, let alone my current interest in Catholicism. Well quite honestly, neither do I. Sometimes I feel like a moth to a flame, following by instinct & nothing more. I know the world leaves me feeling empty and the chasm only seems to get deeper the longer I'm on this earth. The pursuit of God, on the other hand, seems to sustain me. Belief & denial, logic & tradition, superstition & skepticism, who hasn't experienced these same internal battles? Everyone's journey of faith may be defined differently, but we seem to share the common struggle to know truth & be known in truth, within & aside from temporal things. I think this is what fascinates me most.
As for Catholicism, I'm drawn to the symbolism, yet not the outward appearance of the symbolism itself. I'm drawn to the liturgy, but not the rote forms. I'm drawn to what these things tend to reveal in my heart. I catch a glimpse of who God is, what it means to be a Christian, what it means to follow Christ as an individual in community. Still, there are those hallmark issues of Catholicism... Beyond the abuse & other atrocities of the ages, the minefield of apologetics threatens the most nimble traveler. In light of these things, how can I possibly, with all the faculties of logic & understanding available to me, even consent to think anything more of Catholicism? Then again, how can I not? As I attempt to put my journey into words, a bigger picture begins to form. So I write to make it real, to know truth & be known in truth, within & aside from temporal things.