Thursday, October 28, 2010

Word Find

Picture it: A list of 20 words pertaining to a particular subject matter & a box full of jumbled letters.

The object of the challenge is to find all 20 words in the box. They may be up, down, diagonal, backward, etc., but every single word is in there. You look at the box & maybe find 2 or 3 that stand out right away. And then the "fun" begins. I use the word fun sarcastically as the hunt can sometimes be maddening. Occassionally, you might hit a streak & find multiple words in succession. But there's always a sticking point when your eyes glaze over & you're forced to take a break. "Fresh eyes" will help you later on. The more words one finds, the easier the search becomes... Other words that were once hidden are now dilineated by other words that have been found. Eventually the challenge is completed. Onto the next.

This is life: Challenging. Simple. Maddening. Numbing. Failing. Refreshing. Revealing.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

The Insect's Prayer

First light... its not the first time I've seen you.
In a while the day will come, breaking down my door
and I will collapse, asleep, soundly.

I will dream of a balmy afternoon.
Shadows of leaves frolic on walls...
Rocks in the "crick" are kissed by fading light &
I will fantasize of making my escape
when I hear the buzz
of the insect's prayer...

I wore my heart out on my sleeve-
what more could there have been to hear or see?
Somehow my voice got misplaced in the translation.
They thought it was rebellion that fueled my intentions.
I was clothed with diagnosis & with prophecy...
My wounds were bandaged tightly under labels of warning.
The ones who swore they were defending me
somehow over time became the enemy, scorning...

I dreamt in colours, I was running through fluorescent lighted halls.
There's safety in numbers, but there were no numbers for me to call.
I was an exile from the nation of contentment.
I was so tired of living in the fray.
I could not say I was scared of being lonely.
I could not say I was scared to face my days.
I kept my mouth shut just like any good girl should do...
I held it all, locked it away...

First light... its not the first time I've seen you.
I will fantasize of making my escape
when I hear the buzz
of the insect's prayer...

Sunday, October 3, 2010

6 Months of Myrrh

I was frustrated today & asked God to speak to me. I picked up my Bible & read wherever I happened to open up. Yes, we're talking Bible roulette here, but that doesn't negate God's sovereignty. As I lifted my finger from the passage, I read:

Esther 2:12 (NIV)
12 Before a girl's turn came to go in to King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics.

I felt the gem in this passage was the myrrh. The time frame for the first leg of preparation was 6 months. That's a long stretch. But she had to complete this step- a step of healing & purification- before she could go on to the next. And then it was another 6 months before she could even see the king...

She had already been chosen to be part of the harem, but she still had to face this. I can't imagine it was all luxury spa treatments once or twice a week for an hour... She probably had to be waxed & plucked & poked every day in every way to be "perfect". What would 6 months of myrrh treatments do to a person, I wonder? Its said that myrrh can be used both orally & topically to treat a variety of physical problems. It was (& still is) used as a disinfectant, an analgesic, a preventative medicine. It has a myriad of other uses as well.

In short, I am a "myrrh maid" if you will... I'm entering some strange process of preparation for the next phase of life. It might not be what I had in mind. I might feel like crap & I'm surely going to be exposed to all sorts of scrutiny. But in the end, I'll get to see "the King". At least, that's what the brochure says...

Like Esther, I have to complete this step of healing (for my soul) before I can move forward...