Monday, May 10, 2010

The Shed of the Subconscious

Lately, I've been having some pretty unsavory dreams. In one particular episode, after a series of strange events, a girl my age (someone I'd never met before) reached out to grab my wrist & pinched me, saying "Oh you bet you'll open your eyes". Yet in my dream, my eyes were already open...

I'd been trying to pinpoint the feeling I've had for the last month or so & finally realized it was like waking up- my eyes are opening up to a new world through faith in Christ. There's a scripture that says "Wake up o sleeper & Christ's light will shine on you". The way the girl in my dream said "You bet you'll open your eyes" was malicious & it seemed to be a direct response to my "spiritual wakening". The dreams change every night, but the theme remains the same- life isn't as fulfilling if I choose Christ.

It appears that even my subconscious is being used against me now- if the enemy can't get me to fall consciously, my subconscious is ripe for the picking. I'm essentially powerless on this battlefield. During the day, I do my best to guard my eyes & ears from the things I know will harm me... At night, I go to sleep praying, but the dreams come anyway. Some are tempting, some are mocking. Sometimes my heart will be racing from fear when I wake up... So I'll get out of bed, pray, read my Bible & repent (even though I did nothing wrong). I feel like I've been assaulted, harassed, even defiled after one of these dreams & I just want to be clean.

The stuff stored in the shed of the subconscious mind can become viable weaponry in the hand of the enemy... I suppose I could pray that God would wipe my memory clean & take away all the images & scenarios from the past that could be used to piece these dreams together... But I prayed instead that He would tag & catalogue everything the enemy could use against me... I prayed that He would set a guard over the door of my "shed" so the enemy can't enter... Whether I have another dream or not is up to Him now... but I'm not going to be subject to my enemy on this particular battlefield any longer. My enemy is subject to God.

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