Saturday, February 27, 2010

Holodeck

Its funny, but as I go through various studies & such, I find I don't feel closer to God, but further from Him! Its not the fault of the studies or the leaders. This is precisely what's meant to happen. The Word is a sword, dividing. Its meant to expose me, to lop something off, to dig something out. I have to "fess up" to some real obstacles that have been hindering my pursuit of Christ. I'm up against a wall here...

I suppose Christianity for me has been like a "holodeck" of sorts (not a Star Trek fan, but the example suits my purpose)... Everything I say or do is based on the program in the computer, but nothing is real. My obstacles are the four walls that encompass my self-generated faith life... I bump in to them from time to time when the program glitches. So I live in two worlds- the glitchy, "holodeck" of my "Christianity" & the emptiness of its arena... I don't remember programing battle sequences in... and I don't recall having a cache of weaponry to draw from, yet here's this guy wielding a sword & taking aim at me. He lunges, thrusting the sword just past me, into the wall. He's too close for comfort & it freaks me out a little. The program sparks & fizzles as He strikes again... Its God with His Sword, come to set me free from the perpetual looping of the program. He's come to give me a way out of my self generated faith life...

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