Saturday, February 27, 2010

Black Light

I suppose I'm one of the few "christians" who cringes at the thought of the faith life being marketed as a "party!" or an "exciting adventure!"... Yes, I've heard that following Christ is a rush, a high, or the most outrageous thing one can do with their life... But you know, that doesn't exactly get me to my feet with both hands in the air. I don't know that I'll ever be the kind of christian who salivates at the thought of living faith's untold adventures. I don't know if I'll ever be the kind who shouts & means it, who dances & feels it deep in my gut... who practically explodes with the life of the risen Christ in me. Its not that I don't want these things for myself... the idea just scares the bejeebers out of me. Am I dead to me & alive to Christ? Clearly, no. And fear proves that. Its that a bad thing? I don't think so. That fear has become something of a black light that exposes things otherwise unseen. It reveals those unfortified places in me that render the structure of my faith unsound... But fear has also become something of an excuse for me & to live under the power of fear is bondage. I've been a captive audience for far too long & I'm handing over my black light, slowly... one finger at a time.

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