Monday, December 21, 2009

Winter

The darkness is oppressive today-
heavy black clouds hang thick in the sky.
Its tarry rain falls to earth,
pummels my windshield,
dashes about as spray kicked up on car heels...
My vision turns misty, like a dream.
I focus on the lights ahead.
I want to scream at the darkness,
wrench the sun from it's grip...
I want to tear into it's billowy flesh
& free the sky to breathe again.
I grasp the wheel with both hands
to keep myself in line.
Its hard to see & I feel strange...
This drive is taking forever
& I just want to sleep...

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Secret Agent G.O.D.

Today in church, the pastor uttered a simple sentence- "Light & darkness don't mix".

I was strangely reminded of Psalm 18: 9-12 which reads:
He opened the heavens and came down; dark storm clouds were beneath his feet. Mounted on a mighty angelic being, he flew, soaring on the wings of the wind. He shrouded himself in darkness, veiling his approach with dark rain clouds. Thick clouds shielded the brightness around him and rained down hail and burning coals.

I was also reminded of 1 John 1:5 that says:
This is the message we have heard from Him and declare to you: God is Light; in Him there is no darkness at all.

Psalm 18, penned by David, was written as a praise for God's deliverance from "all his enemies & Saul's pursuit". David was on the run, a wanted man... He wrote: "The ropes of death entangled me; floods of destruction swept over me. The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death laid a trap in my path". (vs 4-5) However, he later wrote that God "reached down from heaven & rescued me, He drew me out of the deep waters." (vs 16) David's outlook changed drastically throughout the rest of the chapter as he spoke the praise of his Rescuer...

I think of God exacting justice on David's enemies kung fu style... He stealthily infiltrates the enemy compound, knocks one of the guards out & clothes himself with the uniform of the enemy. He slips past everyone else undetected & finds David. Imagine how that might feel- having the enemy approach you in your cell... You'd probably be expecting torture of some kind, certainly not deliverance. And then think of how ecstatic you would be when you realized it was God in that enemy uniform, it was God, shrouded in darkness... It was God, come to save you, come to set you free.

God was in the midst of David's storm. He shrouded Himself with darkness, came against David's enemies & rescued him, inspiring these words: "The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness". (vs 28) I see the story of redemption being played out here. God's own Son, Jesus, clothed Himself in the shroud of darkness we know as skin & bones... He became one of us... that He might rescue us...

Indeed, "Light & darkness don't mix" but, "the Lord my God lights up my darkness..." Its Secret Agent G.O.D. to the rescue.

Eye of the Needle

Moving can be quite the hassle- hunting for a new place to call home, hauling one's life away to a new avenue or boulevard or street... But is it my life I'm hauling or is it something else? "Things" prove troublesome for me... When I think about the things I exist with & the things that help me exist, I realize there's a great disparity... There are few things I actually "need"... everything else is just filler.

So what exactly am I hauling with me? Do I need a barrister full of books I read years ago or perhaps may never read? Bric-a-brac, media, papers... They accumulate here & there, just waiting for a glance... But what I need to exist day to day isn't found in my barrister, on my desk or in my media corner... All that I actually need, I essentially carry.

Yes, I have everything I need... & more. Food fills the cupboards & fridge.... Furniture lines the walls that are covered with serene visions of nature & maps of antiquity... My closets are filled with boxes left unopened from past moves... And as I set out to pack up the stuff that's since settled around me, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. How much do I really need to take with me? How much do I really need to feel "at home"? I have grandiose visions of simplicity- of taking only what I need... but even that won't fit through the eye of the needle... Will stuff or lack make a difference? Is it my life I'm hauling or is it something else? And why is it so damned hard to let go if it?

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Hard Hats Required

wrecking ball of necessity- crash the shell of stability
destroying beams & rafters, breaking down the walls
what is a wall or window but a thin membrane stretched across the drum
brokeness produces rhythm- timbres interrupted

orchestration of destruction- precise in probabilities
safety at a distance is better left maintained
what is strength or clarity but a thin disguise- steadfast till
brokeness produces danger- complacency deferred

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Incensed

Reduced to ashes
little by little,
I give, intangible.
The proof is in the smoke
& mirrors reflect
the exhaustion of my resource.
The slow glow
of knowing
hangs thick in the room.
I am fuel.
Consumed,
gaining strength
little by little
even as I crumble into dust.
Climbing into the air
heavy laden, like a shroud
cast off,
my prayer unfurls,
blazing trails up to Your throne...
_______________________________________________

May my prayer be set before you like incense;
may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice. Psalm 141:2