Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Falling Out Of Formation

Weakness. Is it wrong to admit to shame? To cowardice? Is it wrong to admit an iota of uncertainty or at worst, unbelief? Is it wrong to attempt to own up to one's shortcomings as a Christian, as a human? Why is it that people in the Christian community tend to shrink back in horror from the sin of their own, even as their own sin remains hidden, unchecked? Why is it some of us go to such great lengths to hide our weakness?

Paul spoke of boasting in his weakness so the power of Christ would rest on him. The Lord even said to him "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Not that we ought to strive to remain weak or seek to manipulate the power of God, but clearly, its the depth of our weakness that affords Christ's perfecting work in us... We are told to be holy as He is holy. We are told to be slaves to the Spirit of God & not slaves to sin... And yet, even though the curse of sin has been broken for those of us who call ourselves Christians, there is still sin in us... & sin still moves through us like the air we breathe.

What's our goal? To not sin or to see Christ's power being perfected in us daily? Sometimes I feel as though I'm so much less of a Christian for my obvious faults. I seem to chastise myself over my weaknesses regularly... I've had those happy go lucky doe eyed Christians reprimand me countless times for being too hard on myself, for lacking "joy" as an outward evidence of my salvation... I've been accused of being so self focused that I forget about all that God has done for me & all the things I still have to do for God. But I can't see the value in "faking it" just to keep up with the flock. I'm weak & falling out of formation...

When I see other Christians "falling" yet still challenging themselves, I'm strangely encouraged- more so than when I see them "joyful & triumphant". I get to see Christ being perfected in them- I get to see the process. I find comfort in knowing I'm not the only one with gimpy wings... And maybe somewhere down the road, the process of Christ's power being perfected in me will provide encouragement for another.

So I will boast all the more about my weakness, that Christ's power might rest on me, that Christ's power might be perfected in me...

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